What a ride it has been...

It has been quite a while since I last updated my blog. The last month was, again, quite an emotional ride for me. My first year in New York has taught me a lot of things. The things that are okay to do, and not okay to do. It is not okay to put your whole heart into someone's hand, because it seems like as soon as you do that, something will go terribly wrong. It is not okay to cross the line, even though you know it will make you, well at least, happier than you are right now. It is okay to cry in public (on the trains), because we all have our bad days. It is also okay to be alone (by-yourself-for-more-than-24-hours), because all the voices in your head are so much clearer that way.

I found myself keep going back to this song the last 3-4 months. Like last night when I was taking the train at midnight all the way from Queens, to Manhattan, back to Brooklyn, the only thing to calm down all the overwhelming emotions, tears and confusion, is this song. Can't say I relate to Mayer entirely, but what I felt from listening to this is just right.

Here is for a glorious summer, NYC.


David came to visit.

A couple weeks ago, my good friend David took a spontaneous trip all the way from San Francisco to visit me here in New York. David and I met in SF in early 2012, and the last time we hung out was when I spent a summer in SF in 2013. Since then we tried to connect on and off via Facetime and text messages, but it was hard for us to be in touch frequently. When Dave got here, we instantly and naturally reconnected. Things have changed a lot in our lives; we graduated from college, David found a job, quit a job and started another job, I moved and started grad school in the city, we both fell in love and fell out of love. But it seems like our friendship did not change, which I am grateful for.
I asked David if I could share some of the pictures that he took during his trip. He is an awesome photographer and you should totally check him out.

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Good Vibe

Things I am thankful for:
- Progressive dinner from taco truck hidden in a bar to cheap falafel sandwich.
- PBR in a brown bag watching Manhattan skyline at dawn.
- Late night in the back of The Abbey, despite people yelling right next to us in Russian, sharing heartfelt stories and feeling incredibly humbled.
- This song that describes perfectly how I feel at the moment.


The Commute Life.

Life lately has been composed of endless, endless amount of work and long, long commute. I would never consider myself a work-addict ( believe me I love being lazy and doing nothing), but looking back at myself the last 2 weeks I imagine this is how a workaholic would look like.
But on the brighter note, work has been keeping me occupied and feel better. And thanks to my best friend aka Spotify, the commute has been a little bearable for me.

One of my favorite songs recently. Take a listen because it is so fun! Let me know if you end up dancing to it in public like I did.


Online Shopping Tips.

If you know me ( or have been my roommate in the past), you know that I love online shopping, and I do most of my shopping online. I find it much more fulfilling to avoid the hassle of going to the stores and trying to carry a bunch of stuff home ( you know what I am talking about you New Yorkers), and not to mention, sometimes you get a much better deal online! (- but there is also a fine line between smart shopper and "obsessive shopper" - my roommate once made fun of me because I bought pillow cases online).

I thought it would be helpful to share with you readers some of the tips on online shopping to save money and time ( we all don't have much of spare time anymore, assuming Netflix exists in your life).


If you are an experienced online shopper, you probably have heard of Ebates. Basically this amazing website gives you money back for stuff you buy online, and it covers most of the stores they we often shop at. I have been using Ebates for the last 2-3 years now, and I cannot say how much I appreciate the this website. Even though  1-10% cash back doesn't seem like a whole lot, but over time the little money will all build up ( especially if you shop online as frequently as I do), the percent cash back (plus your coupons or the deal some websites offer at the time) will cover the tax/shipping cost. And sometimes Ebates offers double cash back ( which could be %20). I highly recommend the website and you can check it out via this link.

ShopRunner and Amazon Prime

I had an Amazon Prime account throughout college being a student, and I guess another reason for me to appreciate being a student still ( beside the fact I can delay the the adult life/paying bills/ growing up process), is to continue using this student account. Basically with Amazon Prime, you get 2 day free shipping for all the Amazon Prime qualified items.
I also shop at drugstore.com a lot to get all of my basic drugstore need ( plus to make use out of my Ebates account). I recently signed up to try out ShopRunner free two day shipping. At first I thought I would try it out just for the free 1 month trial, and cancel it after. But when I was trying to cancel my membership, ShopRunner offered me a free 1 year membership if I place 3 orders through the service before a certain date. What I did was I set a reminder down on my phone of the date I need to cancel the membership before I get charged, and take advantage of the membership and put down some orders for me myself and my mom for what we needed drugstore-wise (naturally). I didn't keep track of how I used the membership during this "buffering period" honestly, and before I knew it, I put down 3 orders on drugstore.com via ShopRunner and qualified for a one year of free shipping.
So why should you try out these 2 shipping services? Well from my experience, especially if you live in New York City, they ship out your orders very very fast. The orders I put down now sometimes come the next day even, and let's be honest, you can always wait one more day to buy that eyeliner, or whatever you need on Amazon, and save some money right?


If you live in NYC, you probably have seen their advertisement banner on the subway. That is how I found out about this website. It is basically an online Costco where you can get your groceries/household needs, wholesale for cheaper. Not sure how long this website has been around because the variety is not that great, but it has most of the basic needs and I have bought a bunch of stuff for my apt on here (paper towels, cereals, almond milk, ...). It is just a lot more convenient just to have the big heavy stuff delivered to your door rather than having to drag them from the store to the subway back home. 

Did I mention their shipping is very fast too? ( Use this code WZKBD to get $10 off your first order). 
Hope you find these tips helpful and decide to try out these services and enjoy them as much as I do. 


ladies and gents, thank you for your music.

that moment when you physically felt sick of the same stuff you keep on replaying on Spotify (or depressing break-up music brought to you by the one and only Taylor Swift), and you found a new tune and your life is RENEWED.


The month of February.

I found this writing I did 3 years ago when I was going through a similar situation as I am now. I kept it private for a while, but I think I should share it for a point of reference...
So well what do I do now?
Move on. That’s what I am gonna do. I am just gonna grow a new heart?
That’s not what I am gonna do.I won’t try to erase everything, or stuff them down to the bottom of my brain.
I guess the more I try to forget it, the more I know that something is bugging me from the inside out of my heart.
I will live with those memories. I will take the good parts of it. Why do we have to try to forget them now when we know all the memories will be forgotten by themselves as time passes?
I will think of you whenever something reminds me of you. I will wake up every morning thinking of you, and before I go to bed thinking of you, thinking that you were there, and facing that you are not there, or here,  anymore.I will miss you. I will let my heart to miss you. Because I can’t help it. I do miss you. I can’t deny it.
I will cry when I want. Cry when I regret pushing you away. Cry so I can fall asleep sometimes. Cry when I read back at your messages, hearing your voice again, cry when a song brings back all that we had.
I will wait. Wait for a day, someday, in somewhere in the future. I will wait for you to appear in my life again.
i will cut my hair. I won’t pretend to show the world that I am okay, I am over it, I am strong. I won’t do any of the things they do to get over someone.I will live the way my heart wants me to.
And then I think… one day, I will get tired of it. Of thinking of you, missing you, crying, waiting. All of those. I will get so bored of doing those.
eventually. I think. It will go away. Naturally. I won’t do anything to push it.
I will enjoy the time I still have the memories of you, as long as it lasts.
It's strange to see how I really had a lot of things to say 3 years ago, and did a decent job of saying it. At this moment where I am right now, I honestly don't have much to say, because 1) I don't want to say it, 2) I don't know how to say it, 3) it honestly is better not to say. Compared to 3 years ago, there are things I choose to do the same way, there are things I choose to do differently now. At the end, it's all about how you gather yourself to make everything seem a little bit better, perspective-wise.

The month of February is coming to a close thankfully. I guess I am in a place in my life trying to pick up the pieces and take a different turn, a harder route. Things seem kind of blurry for now, and for this past week every morning I had to remind myself to get out of bed and do something, anything to make this day go by faster. The short term goal that I have for my life right now is to not be defined by the hard things that I am going through. In the next couple months or so, knowing the season will be challenging, I hope I see myself walking through it, and not being crushed down by it.

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